Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
