I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
