his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
