Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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