ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Watching her eat just hurts me
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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