It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
