im drinking this country out of the recession.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
