Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
