We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
