Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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