His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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