I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
