im about as happy as oj after his trial
I forgot how hot balto sounded
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
