he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
