He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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