I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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