I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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