Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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