took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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