I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
