so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
