This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
