THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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