I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
