It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
