Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
