what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
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