Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
