At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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