angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
