can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
