im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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