If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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