But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
