I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
