i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
