I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
