It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
