I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
