Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Randomize
