sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
