Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
