I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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