That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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