dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
