Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
