Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
