I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
