so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
