No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
